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Literature Text
Don't pull the plug yet,
I'm not that far gone.
I'm comfortable in this coma,
afraid to wake up.
I'm not that far gone.
I'm comfortable in this coma,
afraid to wake up.
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came to me this morning while listening to Blue October
© 2008 - 2024 arien87
Comments5
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Interesting piece. Not bad at all. It has rythm.
If I may offer some, hopefully constructive, criticism I'd say that the third line might be a bit long, disrupts the rythm a little. And the repetition of the "I'm" in the fourth line also seems a bit unnessesary. Otherwise I like it.
You should be glad. I don't usually give advice like this. Especially not at this time of night.
If I may offer some, hopefully constructive, criticism I'd say that the third line might be a bit long, disrupts the rythm a little. And the repetition of the "I'm" in the fourth line also seems a bit unnessesary. Otherwise I like it.
You should be glad. I don't usually give advice like this. Especially not at this time of night.